Hi friend,
Ever left a conversation thinking, “That didn’t go how I wanted…” or “Why did I react like that?” or even, “Why did they react like that?” You’re not alone.
Here’s the thing: before we can truly attune to others — whether it’s a spouse, friend, colleague or child — we have to be attuned to ourselves. When we’re not, we miss the moment. We over-talk. We shut down. We don’t read the room. We feel lonely.
Attunement is like tuning an instrument. If I’m out of tune internally, I can’t harmonize with you. But when I pause and notice what’s going on inside — my emotions, my body, my story — I create the space to actually hear someone else. When I can hear me, I can hear you.
Here’s a quick way to begin:
- Ask yourself: What am I feeling right now?
- Where do I feel it in my body?
- What do I need?
Try checking in with yourself like this three times a day — morning, mid-day, and evening. Just notice without judgement. If you are the journaling type, jotting down a few notes can help your internal world come into focus. And if you want to super-charge your growth in this area, share your feelings (not your thoughts on your feelings) with someone who listens well.
When we practice self-check-in regularly, our relationships shift. We connect more deeply. We show up more clearly. The more attuned you are to you, the more capacity you’ll have to show up present, calm, and connected with others.
If you’d like support developing this practice, I’d love to journey with you. Reach out for individual coaching, or consider joining one of my 2026 groups designed to build these skills in a safe and supportive space.
For now, just pause and tune in.
Warmly,
Tina
Recommended reads:
Mindsight by Daniel Siegel
The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk
Changes that Heal by Henry Cloud