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Forgiveness Isn’t About Them
Forgiveness.It sounds so simple — and yet, when it comes down to it, few things stretch our hearts quite like this one. Forgiveness is the act of canceling a debt that was owed to us. It’s choosing to release someone from what they “owe,” allowing the cost to fall on us. Forgiveness doesn’t mean what happened was okay. It doesn’t minimize or erase the hurt. It simply means we’ve decided to stop carrying it. We release our grip on the offense, not to excuse the other person, but to reclaim our...
When “Trying Harder” Isn’t Working
There are times we simply need grit—to keep on keeping on, to push through the hard, to get to where we want to go. And then there are times when pushing harder, and flexing our get-stuff-done muscle, isn’t what we need to solve the problem. That’s what we explored in my last coaching group. Using Dr. John Townsend’s Growth Model, we looked at how we grow through doing and connecting. We need both—especially when working harder isn’t moving the needle. When something we’re trying to resolve...
Relational Mindfulness: Choosing Growth over Reactivity
Hello friends, As we step into this week, I want to share a thought on growth and connection. We’ve all had moments where we react more strongly than the situation calls for. I know I have! A comment stings, a tone of voice feels sharp, or someone pulls away—and suddenly our chest tightens, our pulse quickens, and before we even think, we’re fighting, shutting down, or scrambling to smooth things over so everyone feels better. This is our Adaptive Child at work. These knee-jerk reactions,...
Attuning to Others Begins with Attuning to Your Inner World
Hi friend, Ever left a conversation thinking, “That didn’t go how I wanted…” or “Why did I react like that?” or even, "Why did they react like that?" You're not alone. Here’s the thing: before we can truly attune to others — whether it’s a spouse, friend, colleague or child — we have to be attuned to ourselves. When we’re not, we miss the moment. We over-talk. We shut down. We don't read the room. We feel lonely. Attunement is like tuning an instrument. If I’m out of tune internally, I can’t...
What Kind of Friendships Do You Need More Of?
Reflections from the Relationship Workshop This past weekend, I had the joy of leading a workshop on one of my favorite topics: relationships. Not just romantic relationships or family relationships, but the full spectrum of friendships and connections that shape the emotional landscape of our lives. We talked about how not all relationships are created equal—and how, when we don’t have the right kinds of people in the right places, we can end up feeling discouraged, overextended, or just...
Turning Dreamy Goals into Reality
If I was right there with you drinking a cup of coffee, and could ask you what 3 of your current goals are, would you be able to answer without too much thought? Do you know right away what they are? When I don’t have clear goals, life can feel a bit directionless and unfulfilled. If you are feeling a bit foggy these days, establishing or redefining some goals may be just what you need. When we don’t have specific goals to work toward we are less likely to achieve our full potential. If I...