We often struggle to see ourselves as we truly are.
Our inner critic, shaped by past experiences, family dynamics growing up and the world around us today, can shape a view of our self that is not entirely accurate, leaving us with an internal swirl of perfectionism or self-doubt.
But what if the key to seeing ourselves as we truly are lies not just within ourselves, but in the reflections others provide of us? Group settings offer a unique opportunity to know ourselves more fully.
When we ask ourselves, “What do I know to be true about me?”, we might hesitate or draw a blank. Or even have inaccurate views of what we know about ourselves. However, in a group, we gain multiple perspectives – each person is a mirror, reflecting different facets of our personality, talents and potential.
Remember that art teacher who praised the creativity she saw in you? Or the colleague who noted your problem-solving skills? The friend who reflected back your strengths that you didn’t really notice until he told you so? These external validations aren’t just compliments; they’re glimpses into our authentic selves that we might otherwise leave unseen throughout our lives
In group coaching, this is amplified. As we share our stories and struggles, others often recognize strengths and qualities we’ve long overlooked or dismissed. A group member might point out your resilience in facing challenges, or your natural ability to empathize with others, or that your strengths would fit well in a particular career path. These observations can be powerful counters to our inner critic, offering a more nuanced and accurate view of who we are.
This process of being seen by others helps us build a more compassionate relationship with ourselves. We can then internalize these positive reflections developing a stronger sense of who we are and who we are not. We are able to challenge our self-critical thoughts and rewrite them with a more true view of who we are.
The journey of personal development & growth is truly not a solo adventure. By seeing ourselves through the mirrors that others provide, we grow past our blind spots, challenge our harsh inner critic, and develop talents that may have been hidden away. We are not meant to do life alone. God has given us the gift of each other to grow throughout our entire lives.
I will leave you with a few ideas to put this into action today….
- Can you think of something that a friend or colleague has told you that they see in you? A hidden gift or talent or skill? What is it? What would it be like for you to let that in? Take some time to journal about it or share it with a friend.
- Do you have good mirrors around you? People who see who you are, reflecting your goodness back to you? If not, perhaps join a small group in your church or community. Or join one of my coaching groups.
- Do you let others know of the beauty you see in them? Be a mirror to someone around you today!
- And finally, start a running list in the notes app on your phone titled “Who I Am” and “Who I’m Not.” Let it be a living document you can add to as you internalize the beauty others see in you.
Warmly,
Tina