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Growing Strong Through Attachment, Boundaries, Integration, and Mutuality
Over the last few writings, I have been talking about the developmental tasks we all accomplish as we grow from infants into adults. (You may read them here) These four components of development - Attachment, Boundaries, Integration, Mutuality - essentially support us throughout life just like the trunk of a tree holds up the branches, produces fruit and keeps it from tipping over when storms come. If we are underdeveloped in any of these four areas, it will show up. We will have limited...
Character Structure of a Tree: A Framework That Can Help Us Nurture Growth
Hello, Fellow Journeyer! Last time, we discussed the power of internalization and how our lens shapes our experiences. Today, we'll take a closer look at how our character structure develops using the tree as a metaphor. It will give us a framework that can help us understand ourselves and others better. Let's dive in! The Significance of the Trunk: Imagine a tree standing tall and weathering life's storms. The trunk serves as its foundation, providing support, nourishment, and protection. In...
Understanding Our Lens: The Power of Internalization and Our Stories
Hey there, friends! Grab your favorite cup of coffee or tea, and let's dive into a topic that shapes the way we perceive ourselves and the world around us. Today, we're going to talk about internalization and how our unique lens colors our experiences. So, let's get started! First things first, I'll share a bit about myself. My name is Tina, and I'm the youngest of two sisters. I come from a family where I experienced the challenges of having a depressed and borderline mom. Chaos of abuse...
The Power of Structure: Moving from Wishes to Goals
April’s Group Coaching session was focused on the importance of creating Structure. Today I will share a bit of how structure is key to growth in any area. Before each member joins one of my Coaching Groups, I work with them as they create their stretch goals. A stretch goal is an ambitious target that requires a good amount of growth, learning and effort beyond their current capabilities to get there. Each person begins the year with three stretch goals. One personal, one relational and one...
Tina’s 2022 Favorite Reads
Happy New Year everyone!!! Here are 10 of my favorite books from 2022. As you can see, I am all about understanding our stories, how they shape who we are today, and what we can do to take charge of our narratives moving forward. 1 US, Getting Past You & Me to Build a More Loving Relationship by Terry Real - This book presents the dynamics of interpersonal neuroscience in our relationships. We basically have the same arguments over and over again throughout life and in all our...
A Forgiveness Explained
When we can find and hold on to ourselves as being a loved self, life changes, and forgiveness begins to flow. It is often that when we are hurt, neglected or treated unjustly, that our belief that we are unloved or unloveable is cemented, expanded or triggered. If we can breathe life into that tiny small flame that knows deep down in our soul that we are loved and give it space to develop into a full glowing, warm fire, we will then be able to look around at the rubble that life has tossed...